Musings / My Thoughts

Why Honesty Sucks (but is Still Sorta Necessary)

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Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.  Kent M. Keith

Honesty sucks.

It is stripping, leaves you bare, takes away opportunities, makes you uncomfortable because it possesses a  light that exposes things and leaves you vulnerable.

Which sucks.

I have spent the last 48 hours being incredibly bare and saying things to people that I normally keep inside and let me tell you, I am exhausted.

In some ways this honesty is good. I had this moment over the weekend where I was with a friend and in hanging out, journeyed through different parts of who I am sort of unexpectedly. I suppose that’s what happens when you are friends with someone who disarms your sense of pretense with their transparency and when you go see a film that stirs the waters of your spirit (12 years a slave). Here honesty made me cry and laugh and do handclaps of excitement which all represent different headspaces for me. In the moment I was at ease but admittedly I’ve been a bit uncomfortable reflecting because I’m not used to being that emotionally scattered or bare. So yeah, uncomfortable but good nonetheless.

Conversely honesty took money out my pocket yesterday. I asked a clarifying question about a business proposition and it means that I have to personally let opportunity go. That’s a hard thought. I’m in a season where extra money is something I could use and I spent much of the day regretting asking my question. Sometime last night while reflecting on my day, I realized something. I am working to live a life marked by integrity and that requires being honest. There will be many things that I will have to walk away from as I journey because to live honestly, one cannot reconcile engaging some opportunities no matter how profitable they may be.

That’s a hard thought.

So this morning as I prepare for work, I acknowledge that honesty honestly blows sometimes. BUT (and its a big bold but) it is necessary. We need it for growth, we need it for freedom, we need it for the sake of being integral people. That doesn’t make it easier, it just makes it worth the effort.

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